Sex tips and exercises / Sex tips, techniques, and exercises for women and all vulva & vagina owners:

When you move during sex, you can both arouse yourself and enjoy the sexual arousal. The pelvic swing provides movement in all sexual positions.

Why should I move during sex?

If you move during sex, your genitals will be better supplied with blood and you will develop more pleasant and positive feelings during sex. You can also become much more aroused and wet during vaginal intercourse. It also helps a lot when you have pain during sex. Fluid movements of the whole body distribute the arousal in the body and increase your physical pleasure. Movements of the upper body and head promote the feelings of pleasure during sex. Circling of the pelvis is a good method of vaginal massage when a penis, dildo or finger is inside the vagina. Read more about the benefits of moving during sex in this text.

What is the pelvic swing?

The pelvic swing is a movement of the pelvis that promotes blood circulation during sex and increases sexual arousal. It is one of the most important movements during sex. The pelvis moves forward and back again. So you can use your pelvis to take something - like a penis, a hand or a dildo – into your vagina. And it also helps you increase sexual arousal during vaginal penetration, because this way your genitals are better supplied with blood than when you're not moving. You can practice the pelvic swing in a standing, lying, sitting and kneeling position.

How do I do the pelvic swing in a lying position?

We suggest you start exploring the pelvic swing in a lying position. Lie down on your bed or a carpet or something comfortable. Put your hands on your belly. Breathe deeply. Notice the hands moving as you inhale and exhale: Your belly goes up when you inhale, and down when you exhale. Now imagine there's a thread on your belly button. Imagine you're a puppet. The thread pulls your belly up to the ceiling when you inhale. And as you exhale, a thread pulls your lower back to the floor. You can put one hand on your stomach and one under your lower back to feel the movement better. When you inhale your back arches, and when you exhale your back goes back to the floor. The impulse for the movement comes from your belly and back. Your buttocks can relax. You can also watch the movement in this video. It's only available in German so far, so go ahead and fast-forward though the talking part and just concentrate on watching the woman do the movement. Also watch the cartoon that is superimposed to the movie. You'll see a balloon drawn in the woman's belly indicating when she inhales (full balloon) and when she exhales (empty balloon).

How do I swing my pelvis in the cowgirl position?

Use pillows or blankets to build a structure on your bed or floor that is about the size of a human torso. Then sit on it with your knees bent so that it is comfortable for you. Since the cowgirl position can be exhausting for the knees, each woman finds out for herself what the best angle is. You can also support yourself with your arms in front of you. You can also sit upright and put your hands on your thighs. Now imagine that thread pulling your belly button when you inhale, and your lower back when you exhale. Check out this video for a detailed demonstration (just fast-forward past the woman talking in German):

Can I practice in a sitting position?

You can practice the pelvic swing anywhere – when you're sitting, at work, on the train, at school... You can make small, almost invisible movements. Just imagine a thread pulling your belly button when you inhale, and your lower back when you exhale. This is also a good exercise if you have tension or back pain while sitting, because this small movement loosens the muscles. It also helps to calm you down because movement and deep breathing are relaxing. Watch how the woman does it in this video (again, fast-forward past the woman talking in German):

How does the movement work on all fours?

This is another good way to explore the swinging movement: Get down on your hands and knees. Imagine a thread pulling the middle of your back towards the ceiling while you exhale. And when you inhale, imagine a thread pulling your belly button to the ground. So, hunch your back when you exhale, and arch it when you inhale.

Try to do this movement slowly, round and smoothly – so that you're swinging, so to speak, and your body is moving around a hinge that's in the middle of your back.

How can I swing my pelvis while standing?

We suggest that you stand so that your feet are about as far apart from each another as your hips. When you stand in front of a mirror, you can watch yourself. It is important that the knees are loose, i.e. slightly bent. This is the only way you will have the necessary flexibility in your upper body. Now make the same movement as on four feet: alternating cat hunch with exhalation and arched back with inhalation – like the woman on the pictures below.

When exhaling and cat hunching, your vaginal entrance is in a position to take something in – for instance, a dildo or a penis, or your own fingers. Go ahead and make a hugging movement with your arms as if you were taking something in. This will support your imagination of doing so.

How do I distribute arousal through the body?

Moving your entire body is a good way of connecting different areas of your body. So when you do the pelvic swing, a good idea is to not leave your upper body static. Do the pelvic swing in a relaxed manner, while you lie on your back. You might notice that the movement translates into your upper body: When you arch your back, your chest expands and your shoulders go back a bit along with your pelvis. And when your back is round, your chest collapses and your shoulders move forward a bit. Try to amplify this movement in your upper body. Now do the same thing standing up. Watch yourself in the mirror. What's happening in your upper body? You can see this in the picture with the standing woman above. The idea ist that your whole body is part of this movement, not only your pelvis. This supports a whole-body experience of sexual arousal and orgasm.

Why is an open mouth a good idea?

A relaxed head is very important when letting go, especially during orgasm. We suggest you let your head do whatever it wants, but try to keep your mouth open. For many people the neck and jaw are often tense. A simple trick is to open your mouth during sex – ideally at least two fingers wide. This will loosen your jaw and neck muscles. And, you don't grit your teeth during sex without realizing it. When the mouth is open, the pelvic floor muscles are looser, as well. This is because the nerves of jaw and pelvic floor muscles are indirectly connected to each other.

How do I breathe?

We recommend that you breathe deep down into your abdomen during sex, exhaling at the cat's hunch and breathing out when arching the back. In other words: Exhale when your pelvis goes forward; inhale when your pelvis goes back. Try to leave your mouth open at least when you exhale – two fingers wide. As you exhale, you can make a sound. Say "Aaaaaaaaa" for example. The vibrations of your voice inside your body can add to your feelings of pleasure.

How do I intensify arousal?

Many people intensify their arousal by quicker movements combined with more muscular tension. However, high muscular tension has a lot of negative side-effects, as you can read in this text on muscular tension during sex. A more relaxed, pleasurable way to intensify is to alternately contract and relax the muscles in your pelvic floor. Try this out: Swing your pelvis like we described above. When doing the cat's hunch, contract your pelvic floor muscles, while exhaling deeply and making a sound. Now imagine you're taking something in actively. Contracting your pelvic floor muscles will actually pull them up a bit. So you can literally pull something in. You can test this with your finger in your vagina. As your pelvis moves back again, relax the muscles in your pelvic floor, letting go again.

How do I bring in variation?

Variation makes sex more interesting. Try swinging your pelvis really fast. When you do this, it might be too difficult to play with your pelvic floor muscles. And breathing synchronously might be too much. Don't worry: You don't have to do everything together. You have all these techniques – moving, playing with your muscles, breathing – to use together or individually. Try all variations – slow movements, fast movements, big movements, small movements. Explore all the different variations.

How do I intensify feelings of pleasure?

While the pelvic swing can be a very good way of intensifying arousal, doing different movements will allow you to keep going for longer and experiencing pleasurable feelings in your entire body. For instance, you can do circles with your pelvis, or move it sideways, try out a figure eight and all sorts of other movements. You can also imagine that you are a plant in the water and undulate pleasurably. All these movements are good for blood circulation and for distributing good sensations through your body. Ultimately you'll have a more intense, more full-body orgasm.

How do I loosen my upper body?

Quite often, movement in the pelvis works fine, but the upper body stays still or even stiff. Your neck might be tense, your jaws clenched. This might lead to a less pleasurable, more stressful sexual experience. We recommend that you follow these tips for more movement in the upper body. We also recommend our breathing tips for less stressful sex.

How do I introduce movement into my masturbation technique?

When masturbating, you can practice moving your body very effectively. Take one or more fingers, moisten them with spit, lubricant or oil, and place them on the vulva – perhaps on the areas you would otherwise get aroused during masturbation. Instead of moving your hand or finger, move your pelvis. Pay attention to what you feel and whether it feels different than when you lie still. If you insert one or more fingers into the vagina, you can hold your hand still and use the pelvic swing to make the fingers slip in and out. You can also circle your hips in a figure 8 motion. These movements provide lateral massage of the vaginal wall, which is full of nerve receptors sensitive to pressure.

How do I make movements during sex with a partner?

We recommend that you pracice the pelvic swing alone and start experimenting with it during sex with your partner as soon as the swinging comes somewhat automatically. When you do the pelvic swing during sex your partner doesn't have to do all the work. In fact, you dictate the speed and when and how deep you want to take in the penis. Many women find this easiest when they're on top, at first. But you can use the pelvic swing in any sex position. If you are completely trapped and practically unable to move, you can still make very small movements. You might not move your pelvis much. But you might deep-breathe and play with your pelvic floor muscles. So there might be a lot of inner movement with hardly any visible outer movement. Remember, it's stimulating for the vaginal wall to be massaged. So if your partner makes in-and-out movements with his penis, you can circle and move sideways to ensure more stimulation of the vaginal wall.