Sex tips and exercises / Sex tips, techniques, and exercises for all:

Breathing has a lot to do with whether or not you're relaxed. That's why it can help you relax – even during times of high sexual arousal.

How do I breathe?

Observe yourself breathing. Sit comfortably. Concentrate on your breath. Where does it flow? How fast does it flow? Where do you sense movement in your body move as you breathe? You can also stand in front of a mirror and look. Where does your body move when you inhale and exhale? Shoulders up? Is your chest moving? Is your stomach moving? Depending on the situation and mood, you probably breathe differently. Or maybe you have a certain breathing pattern that repeats itself often. Take a little break every now and then and simply observe how you breathe.

Why is shallow breathing associated with stress?

If you are agitated, angry, stressed or afraid, your body tenses up and your breathing is faster and shallower. The air does not go all the way down to the lower part of the lungs. When inhaling, you're more likely to pull in your belly and lift your shoulders to fill the upper parts of your lungs. And when you exhale, your shoulders will go down again. When you breathe this way, you're likely to stay agitated or work yourself up even more. This is because your body associates shallow, quick breathing with stress and danger.

What if I breathe till I get dizzy?

When you're upset, afraid or stressed, you might even start to breathe very quickly, focusing on inhaling. This is called hyperventilating. During hyperventilation, you exhale too much carbon dioxide and inhale too much oxygen. This can lead to all kinds of unpleasant body sensations: dizziness, tingling, numbness, tremors, cramps, blurred vision, and so on. It's important to know that this is not dangerous. But if you're already stressed out and afraid and then your body does weird things like this, you might experience a panic attack.

Why is deep breathing relaxing?

As opposed to shallow breathing, abdominal breathing allows you to soothe feelings of stress, anger or fear. Your whole body begins to relax, and substances are released into your body that calm you down. So, when you're afraid or angry or stressed out, it helps to consciously first breathe out slowly and as long as possible. Then let the air flow in again. Focus on exhaling. You'll probably notice that this immediately calms you down a bit. To understand why this is, you have to understand how abdominal breathing works.

How does abdominal breathing work?

During abdominal breathing, you fill the whole lung down to the lowest ribs. This is where the diaphragm is located. The diaphragm is a muscle that runs through the body like an umbrella from front to back, left to right. When you inhale, this muscle contracts and the diaphragm becomes flatter. Thus, it leaves more room for the lungs to expand downwards. As you exhale, the diaphragm relaxes and bulges up again, so the air flows out. Look at this picture we found in Wikipedia to understand this better:

When the diaphragm contracts, the stomach, intestines and internal organs have to make room for it. Therefore, the muscles in the abdomen, flanks and pelvic floor relax. Relaxation means stretching, and stretching means more space. You'll notice that your stomach bulges when you inhale: These are the muscles that stretch so that the internal organs have more space. When you exhale, these muscles contract again slightly. You can compare this to a balloon expanding when the air flows in and contracting when it flows out.

Why is abdominal breathing muscle massage?

Breathing is actually an interplay of muscles that contract and relax: The diaphragm tightens when you inhale, while the abdominal and pelvic floor muscles relax. When breathing out, the diaphragm relaxes and the abdominal and pelvic floor muscles contract slightly. This interplay of tension and relaxation can be seen as a kind of inner massage. It loosens your muscles. This is very important if you want to calm down, because fear and stress are accompanied by increased muscular tension.

Why is exhaling so relaxing?

Many people have a habit of shallow breathing. They ventilate mostly the upper part of their lungs, pulling up their shoulders, and their diaphragm is constantly in the same, rather tense state. The tension of the diaphragm triggers feelings of stress or anxiety. (This has to do with your autonomous nervous system). So, it's a good idea to loosen your diaphragm. The best way to do this is to exhale until nothing comes out anymore. Now the diaphragm is completely relaxed. Wait for the air to flow in again: This automatically happens when the body needs air again. If you suffer from anxiety, it is particularly important that you exhale consciously and very slowly. For example, you can consciously breathe out twice as long as you breathe in. Do this for a couple of minutes and watch yourself calm down.

Why is abdominal breathing during sex so good?

Depending on your arousal technique you might be quite tense. This will lead to shallow breathing or even holding your breath during sex. You might even be out of breath because of a strenuous position. So, your breathing technique plays a big role during sex. Abdominal breathing helps you control and modulate your sexual arousal better, because it relaxes your pelvic muscles with every inhale. It will make sex less strenuous. It also helps you perceive more of what's going on in your penis, because blood circulation in your pelvic area is better due to the muscular movement. And finally, you might just feel more overall sexual confidence and enjoyment. Remember, deep breathing helps you calm down. You can literally breathe yourself into a state of calm confidence during sex. We suggest that you watch the films in our texts about the pelvic swing for women and the pelvic swing for men. They give you good tips on how to breathe during sex.

How do I learn to breathe deeply?

Sit down or lie down comfortably. Put your hands on the lower abdomen. If you're wearing tight pants, open them. And then breathe out. As much as possible. Do you notice how your stomach and chest are going back a bit? When all the air is outside and the stomach and chest want air again, let it flow in again. The stomach and chest expand again. Then breathe out again. You may find that inhaling comes naturally when the body needs it. You may well exhale two to three times as long as you inhale. If you are very relaxed, there is a short pause after exhaling before inhaling again. Also pay attention to how deep breathing affects your mood. Do you feel that it makes you calmer and safer? Do you notice that your whole body feels more comfortable?

Do I breathe through the nose or the mouth?

We generally suggest that your mouth be at least one finger wide open. Especially when you're exhaling. The air flows out of your body much more easily, and you don't have to press. It also relaxes the jaw muscle, which in turn relaxes the pelvic floor muscles, because these two muscle groups are linked together via nerves.

What if I keep forgetting to breathe?

You got into the habit of breathing in a particular way. Breathing differently takes practice. If you practice breathing on a regular basis, you will get a feeling for the difference between short and deep breathing. During the day, keep an eye on how you breathe and consciously breathe slowly with your chest and stomach as often as you can remember. Always start with a long exhale. Over time you will be able to breathe more automatically.