Sex tips and exercises / Sex tips, techniques, and exercises for women and all vulva & vagina owners:

Solo sex is a great way to discover what arouses you sexually. Here, you’ll find masturbation tips that apply specifically to people with vulvas and vaginas.

Where to start

Please read our general tips on masturbation first in order to find out why solo sex is an excellent source of sexual learning. You’ll also find lots of general masturbation tips there.

Back to the basics

If you’ve never taken a good look at your vulva and vagina, then that’s the place to start. Becoming familiar with your genitals is essential for good sex — solo and partnered! For some guidance, read our text on exploring the vulva and vagina. Maybe touching your genitals to masturbate feels totally weird to you. Then go ahead and explore your vulva and vagina first.

How do I start?

You could, for instance, start out like this: Put one hand on top of your vulva. Do you notice that you can warm your vulva with your hand and that it, in turn, can warm your hand? Can the warmth spread throughout your belly? While doing this, you could try to breathe deeply using your belly. Breathe in a way that makes it feel like air is flowing all the way down to the vagina and vulva. Go with your gut. Does your hand feel like moving? Does it want to caress your vulva and maybe move inside your vagina as well? Then let it do what it wants to do.

How can I touch my vulva and vagina?

There are countless ways to touch your genitals and other sensitive parts of your body. Many people find rubbing, stroking, pressing or massaging the clitoral area, the vulva and the vaginal entrance to be quite pleasurable. Deeper inside, the vagina is usually more sensitive to pressure and stretching, like when you push your finger against the vaginal walls from inside. Play around with circling your finger(s) around the clitoris and then expanding the circle to your whole vulva and then back again. Or try stimulating the vagina and clitoris at the same time. Don’t forget the rest of your body, as well. Use your free hand to touch your breasts, inner thighs, anus, or butt cheeks. Take your time and try out different positions and movements. Most importantly, really pay attention to the sensations in your body.

What can I do to feel more?

You will perceive a touch more intensely when you move your body. It’s easier to feel differences than sameness, and movement creates those differences. Plus, your blood circulation is better when you move. When the blood flow is better, you feel more. We recommend that you read our text «Why should women move during sex?». That's the reason why we have tips for more movement during sex and exercises for the pelvic floor muscles on Lilli.

Why is practice so important?

You can also learn to feel more with practice — the more you touch an area, the more familiar and sensitive it becomes! Please also read our text on how to perceive more in the vagina.

What about sex toys?

We recommend that you use your hand if you have no previous experience with solo sex. The hand can feel. Sex toys are objects and they can’t feel anything. Therefore, the hand is a better choice for initial exploration. As you move on, a dildo is a good choice, if you want to explore stimulation inside your vagina. You’ll reach the deeper areas in your vagina more easily with a dildo. You can get advice about sex toys in sex shops (if you’re of age). Another option is making them yourself. For example, you can use bananas, zucchini, sausages... Basically, you can roll a condom over anything that is long and has no sharp edges or corners. We recommend using condoms for hygienic reasons if you are using household items. If you’re using actual sex toys, you don’t need to put a condom on them. Just be careful to clean them after each use (you’ll find information on that in the toy’s instruction manual). We also recommend that you put lube on the toy (or any object) before you slide it into your vagina.

What about using a vibrator or Womanizer?

There are many different toys out there that offer vibrating, pulsating, sucking stimulation. They can be a great addition to your «sexual toolbox». We do, however, recommend them for occasional use only and not as a steady diet, because if you get too used to them, you’ll rely on them more and more, and you might gradually start to depend on them – not only during solo sex but also during sex with a partner. In addition, these toys usually offer very intense stimulation. It’s a bit like chocolate fudge ice cream: it’s so intense in flavor that if you eat it all the time you won’t enjoy more nuanced flavors anymore (don’t worry: you can always rekindle this sensitivity with practice). So, just mix it up, stay curious, and keep trying out different solo sex techniques. 

How can I reach an orgasm?

Please refer to our text «Arousal to Orgasm».