To assess your relationship, you can ask yourself a few questions. Your answers will tell you how comfortable you feel in your relationship.
How good is my relationship?
If you are wondering whether you still want to be with your partner and why you are actually together, these questions will help you. Your answers will also show you in which areas you still have wishes and which things you could work on.
Do we like each other?
Do you like your girlfriend or boyfriend? Do you love them? Do you notice that they like you? That they love you?
Are we compatible?
Do your needs and wishes match those of your partner? How do you manage different needs?
Why are we together?
Are you with your partner because you find them sexually attractive? Because they interest you? Because you like them? Because you love them? Because you are more popular when you have a partner? Because you feel too lonely alone? Because they offer you a life that you couldn't afford on your own? For what other reasons?
Does the relationship suit me?
Are you happy with the type of relationship you have? Does the relationship fit into your current life situation? What should be different?
What are our expectations?
What do you expect from your partner? Which of these expectations do they fulfill? How realistic are your expectations of them? To what extent do you expect too much from them? What do they expect from you and from themselves in the relationship? To what extent are these expectations realistic? To what extent are they fulfilled?
What do you expect from yourself in a relationship? Which of these expectations do you (not) fulfill? How realistic are your expectations of yourself? To what extent do you expect too much of yourself?
How do we show our love?
How does your partner show his or her love - not only in words, but also in their behavior? How do you show it with your behavior? Do you compliment each other? Do you take each other seriously? Do you treat each other with respect? Do you take each other's well-being seriously? Are you there for each other when one of you is unwell? How do you do that?
How do we deal with conflicts?
If you have different opinions, can you deal with them? Do you talk to each other respectfully? Or does one or the other explode - or both? Do you get nasty with each other?
Take a look at our chapter on relationship problems.
How do we cope with ourselves?
How satisfied are you with your life situation? Which dissatisfactions are related to the relationship, which are only related to you? What things do you blame your partner for that you yourself are responsible for? How satisfied are they with themselves? What things do they blame you for that they are responsible for? In short: Do you take responsibility for your own mistakes?