Sexuality: facts and tips / What is sexual arousal - and how do I deal with it?:

A hard penis does not necessarily mean that you want to have sex. The erection simply shows you that you are a sexually healthy man who is easily aroused. If you want the erection to go away, it's best not to pay attention to it.

Why do I get an erection?

Sexual arousal is a physical process. It causes blood to flow to your penis. Then the penis gets harder. You get an erection. Sexual arousal can be triggered when you feel, see, hear, or touch something; it can be triggered when you move or tense your body. In short, sexual arousal can be triggered in many different ways-even if you don't want to have sex. Please read our text about sexual arousal.

Does that mean I want to have sex?

No: A hard penis doesn't necessarily mean you want to have sex. We've already written about this in the section above. We'll say it again because it's so important: sexual arousal is a purely physical process. Your desires and needs have nothing to do with it. Sexual arousal can be triggered by all sorts of feelings, thoughts, or touch - or it can just happen for no reason at all. This means that your penis can get hard even when you are not having sex or having sexual thoughts or intentions.

Are frequent erections normal?

Frequent erections are normal, especially in young men. Because of high testosterone levels, you will have frequent erections from puberty onwards. This can happen several times a day and even at night. As a young, sexually healthy man, you cannot prevent your penis from getting hard.

But even as an older man, you may get erections at inappropriate moments.

Why can excitement make an erection stronger?

Let's say you are embarrassed or upset that your penis has become hard. This automatically makes your body tense up a bit. Because when we are afraid, angry or ashamed, we tense our bodies more. However, the body experiences muscle tension as (sexually) arousing. As well as emotional arousal. This can make the erection stronger. And that's exactly what you don't want.

What makes an erection go away quickly?

It is better to simply see the erection as a sign that your sexuality is working well: You're an easily aroused, sexually healthy man, and that's why you're getting an erection. Tell yourself that your erection is normal. You can wear looser pants in situations where this happens to you more often. Then your erection won't be visible. If you turn your attention to other things, such an erection will quickly go away.

By the way: You can assume that other boys and men get erections just like you. Talking to each other honestly might make things easier for you.

Why does deep breathing help?

When you are aroused, it helps to relax your muscles, especially in your stomach, buttocks and pelvis. The easiest way to do this is to breathe in and out deeply. We recommend these tips.

Why does solo sex help?

It's important that you don't think of erection as something "bad". It can be something very nice and pleasurable. It's good to make time and space for masturbation. You can give your erection a good place where you can enjoy it. You can also practice dealing better with sexual arousal. And, of course, you can relieve pressure. We recommend our tips on masturbation.