Deep breathing calms you down and makes you feel more comfortable - in everyday life and during sex. You can find instructions for deep abdominal breathing here.
Breathing slowly and deeply calms you and makes you feel safe
You can influence your emotions with your body. When you breathe slowly and deeply, you can calm your excitement, anger, or fear. Your whole body begins to relax and substances are released in your body that calm you down. These substances signal to your body and brain that you are safe. So abdominal breathing is good when you are scared, angry or upset. If you consciously breathe in and out slowly and deeply in such a situation, you will notice that it immediately calms you down a bit. If you would like to know more about why abdominal breathing works, please read this text first and then do the exercises described below.
How do I practice deep breathing?
Sit or lie down comfortably. Place your hands on your lower abdomen. If you are wearing tight pants, open them. And then breathe out. As much as possible. Do you notice that your belly and your chest retract a little? When all the air is out and your stomach and chest want air again, let it flow back in. Now your belly and chest are expanding again. And then exhale again. You may find that inhaling comes naturally when your body feels the need. It is quite possible that you will exhale for two to three times as long as you inhale. If you are very relaxed, there will be a short pause after exhaling before you inhale again.
Breathing into the pelvic floor
If you breathe really deeply, the pelvic floor muscles will also expand when you inhale and contract slightly when you exhale - just like the abdominal muscles. See if you can feel this. You can consciously help a little as you breathe out. If you have a penis, stand in front of a mirror after showering (or at any other time when you are warm and naked) and tense your muscles as you exhale so that your testicles move slightly upward. If you have a vulva and a vagina, it's best to test this while lying down. Place your hand on your vulva and see if it moves when you inhale and exhale deeply. With a finger inside the vagina, you can feel the pelvic floor muscles around the vagina move when you breathe: They pull up. You can also consciously tense the pelvic floor muscles as you exhale.
Keep a slow pace
It is important that you breathe slowly. This calms you down. And it helps you to feel what is going on in your body. And you can consciously focus on relaxing.
Alternate between abdomen and shoulders
A good way to practice breathing is to stand in front of a mirror. Then you can pay more attention to what your shoulders do when you breathe. If you breathe only with your belly, your shoulders will remain relaxed. Now, as you inhale, consciously pull in your belly and lift your shoulders. As you exhale, let them come down and your belly expands. Do this a few times. Then switch back to inhaling and exhaling with your belly. This alternating shoulder and abdominal breathing as a regular little exercise is a good way to loosen your diaphragm and get it moving.
Accordion Breathing
This is an excellent way to calm yourself. Imagine that your torso is an accordion. Your front stretches out and becomes wide when you inhale, and when you exhale, your front contracts and your back becomes wide and arched. So you make a hollow back when you inhale and a cat's hump when you exhale. If you have one hand on your belly and one on your chest, your hands should move apart when you inhale and together when you exhale. Make this movement exaggeratedly large while breathing, and then gradually make it smaller and smaller. Until you only think of the accordion and perhaps make a few millimeters. This slight movement of your torso while breathing is very calming for your nerves.
Practicing during sex
If you want to practice for sex, combine breathing with movement, as we describe in these tips for women and anyone with a vagina, in these tips for men and anyone with a penis, and in this text about moving your upper body during sex. It is also important to start with slow breathing so that you are more aware of what is going on in your body. However, playing with faster breathing and faster movement is also important for creating and increasing sexual arousal. When you breathe faster with your belly, make sure you don't hyperventilate: Concentrate fully on exhaling - even if you only have a little air coming out when you exhale: that's enough! Keep your mouth open as you breathe, as if you were saying "Aaa".
Practice regularly!
If you practice breathing regularly, over time you will get a feel for the difference between short and deep breathing. Pay attention to how you breathe throughout the day and consciously breathe slowly with your chest and belly as often as you can remember. Over time, you will become more adept at breathing this way. Also notice how it affects your mood when you breathe slowly with your belly. Do you notice that it makes you feel calmer and more confident? Do you notice that it makes your whole body feel more comfortable? Deep breathing nourishes your body awareness and self-confidence.