Me and the others / How can I get along better with myself and others?:

Every feeling also spreads through your body. You can therefore learn to influence your emotional states and your mood in your body.

What do feelings have to do with the body?

Every feeling spreads through your body. And that's where you can feel it best. If you are afraid, your chest may feel tight and your stomach queasy. When you are angry, you may feel your jaw and neck tighten. You may also notice that your feelings are connected to your breathing. When you're feeling good and relaxed, you breathe much deeper than when you're experiencing fear, anger, or any other stressful feeling. Just as you can feel the feelings in your body, you can also influence them through your body: through your posture, your facial expressions, movement, muscle tension and your breathing.

For more tips on getting to know your feelings, read this text.

Why does tension cause uncomfortable feelings?

When you are tense and breathing short, it puts your body in a state of stress and your system senses danger. This is because the body actually reacts to danger with tension and shortness of breath. Now your autonomic nervous system is preparing to fight or flee. Learn more about this

This state is associated with unpleasant feelings such as anger, fear, disgust or shame. Your mind becomes alert, sensing danger and enemies everywhere and wants to get to safety. Your thoughts become more critical and judgmental - you need to assess what is good and what is bad. You can have these critical thoughts about others as well as about yourself.

To help you understand this better, we recommend this text.

How do I get out of the tension?

As soon as you breathe more calmly and your muscles are less tense, there is no danger of you “bursting” with anger or having a panic attack. There are several tricks you can use to relax your muscles. The best one is: Move loosely. Muscles that you move are not tense. You may have noticed that you feel better when you go for a walk or do a sport that moves your whole body. Dancing can also work wonders - at home or in a club, or as a couple. Yoga, T'ai Chi or Far Eastern martial arts are also great because they build body awareness. See what works for you.

Breathing is also a great way to release tension. Our tip for very quick relaxation is to exhale for a long time. Until nothing comes out. When you are really completely empty, let the air flow back in. Do this a few times in a row. 

We also highly recommend these tips on how to calm yourself down.

What if I just feel empty and listless?

Maybe you don't feel tense, but limp, helpless, hopeless, empty - or even downright depressed. What has happened? Your autonomic nervous system has told you to "shut down" or "play dead" because of all the stress. You feel less, which can be helpful in really bad situations - but nothing works anymore. You can get out of this state by gradually activating.

Let's say you're sitting there and nothing works. Then it helps if you alternate between stretching and curling your fingers and toes. Once you have done this for a while, you can move your lower leg or forearm up and down. Finally, rotate both arms overhead. Then stand up. Walk around. Stomp your feet around. Stick out your tongue and say "Beh". Stretch, stretch, jump... You will probably find that you feel more active and less helpless.

Activating your breathing can also help to pull you out of the hole. We recommend these tips.

You can also read more about this condition in our text on the autonomic nervous system. It is a strong activation of the dorsal vagus. The best way to get out on your own is by slightly activating your sympathetic nervous system.

How can I improve my mood?

Sit crouched down on the chair. Pull your shoulders up and the corners of your mouth down. Look down. Breathe shallowly. And now say to yourself "I'm fine!" Do you believe yourself?

Now sit up straight so that your head is a straight extension of your back and you don't have to strain your neck. Now your upper body has more room to move and you can breathe better. Let your shoulders relax. Both feet are on the floor. Breathe slowly and calmly and pull the corners of your mouth up slightly. You can also place both arms on your legs with your palms facing up. Now say to yourself "I'm fine!" You'll probably believe it now.

As you can see, a few changes in your posture, tension, breathing, and facial expressions can make a big difference in your mood.

Firm footing below, looseness above

To be more secure in life, it makes sense to feel the ground under our feet. If you are constantly crossing your legs in some way, you are missing this. Try to get into the habit of keeping your legs on the ground whenever possible - especially in difficult situations. To feel your feet and the ground well, you need to have a relaxed upper body. If it's all tensed up, you won't be able to feel down to your feet.

If your back is not bent, the muscles in your torso can relax the best. You may want to get into the habit of moving your upper body around a bit. You can loll over, sway back and forth slightly or move your spine with your abdominal breathing. This looseness allows you to adopt a relaxed, open, "positive" posture. You will then be much better prepared for difficult problems and situations than if you are fully tense.

You may have already read the text about the autonomic nervous system. If so, you have probably guessed correctly that this is how you activate your ventral vagus.

If I were a tree...

Here's a little exercise that we highly recommend: Take off your shoes and stand in a quiet place. Imagine that you are a tree. What kind of roots does it have? Feel those roots going into the ground from the soles of your feet. Then imagine the trunk. What does it look like? How thick is it? Where do the first branches begin? What do the branches look like? Where do the branches begin? What does the crown of the tree look like? What kind of leaves or needles does it have? Imagine that the tree is very stable at the bottom and becomes more and more flexible and flexible towards the top.

Then imagine that a wind is coming. Start to move in that wind. The wind passes through you, with each inhalation you take it in, with each exhalation you let it go. You are playing with the wind. Maybe it gets stronger. A real storm. See how it makes you move. Your trunk can withstand it. And so can your roots. Play with the storm. Then the wind will slowly calm down, and in the end it will be still again. Feel the wind. Feel your trunk, your roots, your security below and your looseness above.

This is how you can be as a person: Well-rooted and stable in your feet and legs, and flexible and loose in your torso. Perhaps it will help if you keep the image of the tree in mind.

Further options

If you would like to do something with professional support to positively influence your mood through your body, there are many options. For example, an MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) course. Or body therapy, or breathing therapy, or Feldenkrais. There are so many options. We think it's worth investing in them.