Sexuality: facts and tips / Sex tips and exercises for men and all penis owners:

If you learn to move your pelvis skilfully during sex, you won't only make your partner happier. You'll also be able to raise and modulate your sexual arousal. This text shows you how to do this.

Why is movement during sex so important?

Many men are rather stiff during sex. They "bang" their partners with tense muscles and lots of effort. This doesn't leave much freedom of movement, and the blood circulation is not so good. This can lead to premature ejaculation, erection problems, lack of pleasure, lack of sexual satisfaction and other problems. Please read this text about muscular tension and this text about movement during sex. It will help you understand why it is so worthwhile to practice moving during sex. This way you can control your penis better, you can arouse yourself better, you can modulate your arousal better, and your overall sexual experience is going to be more pleasurable. Your penis might also feel fuller and bigger.

What is the pelvic swing?

Many men use their butt to press their body forward during sex. The trouble with this technique is, the body can get pretty tense. The pelvic swing is a movement in which your pelvis goes back and forth much more loosely. Your stomach and back work and your butt can stay comparatively relaxed. To find out how this works, we recommend you start lying down. Lying down is where most people can relax best.

Pelvic swing on the back

Lie down on your bed or a carpet or something comfortable. Put your hands on your belly. Breathe deeply. Notice the hands moving as you inhale and exhale: Your belly goes up when you inhale, and down when you exhale. Now imagine there's a thread on your belly button. Like a puppet, the thread pulls your belly up to the ceiling when you inhale. And as you exhale, a thread pulls your lower back to the floor. This means that when you inhale, your back arches. And when you exhale, your back goes back to the floor. The movement starts from the stomach and back. Your buttocks can remain relaxed. You can put one hand on your stomach and one under your lower back to feel the movement better.

You can also watch the movement in this video. It's only available in German so far, so go ahead and fast-forward though the talking part and just concentrate on watching the man do the movement. Also watch the cartoon that is superimposed to the movie. You'll see a balloon drawn in the man's belly indicating when he inhales (full balloon) and when he exhales (empty balloon).

Pelvic swing standing up

We also recommend that you practice standing up, because an upright (rather than hunched over or lying down) position is actually good for your self-confidence. It gives you a better feeling of having a strong back-bone and a solid stand on the ground. Doing the pelvic swing in a standing position won't work if your legs are stretched and tense like a bow. Your knees have to be loose and slightly bent for your pelvis to be in a swinging motion. One trick is to put a chair in front of you, facing you. Your slightly bent knees touch the edge of the seat. They should touch it during the entire swinging action. You can also try this out in front of a mirror to better see what you are doing. Now arch your back and inhale – as if you had a thread pulling your belly forward. And then, when you exhale, imagine your back is pulled back by a string, so your pelvis moves forward. Think about a cat hunching. Now imagine penetrating something with your penis. You can move your underarm forward to indicate that you're thrusting with your penis. To understand what we mean, watch this film. Again: Fast-forward through the talking and observe the man doing it.

Do I have to breathe in a specific way?

In this exercise we suggest exhaling when your pelvis goes forward and inhaling when it goes back. We do this because, for many people, this is the easiest way to breathe during the pelvic swing. It's also easier to thrust forward on an exhale. Watch tennis or any other ball sport. The players always exhale when they hit a ball. But you might find it easier to breathe in the opposite way. Or maybe alternate between different ways of breathing, or breathe slower or faster than you thrust. These are all good options. We encourage you to try out and play with different ways of breathing. The only thing we don't recommend is to not breathe at all.

Pelvic swing in missionary position

The missionary position – when you're on top – is a difficult position because you have to hold your body up with muscle power. This is when many men become quite stiff, and sex becomes strenuous. This makes it harder for them to control their arousal. There is an easier way to do this. Please look at this film. Again: Fast-forward through the talking and observe the man doing it.:

Here's how you can practice this:

• Take one or two pillows and place them on the floor or bed.
• Lie on the pillows like they're the torso of the person you're having sex with.
• Your knees are slightly bent, your lower legs rest on the floor or bed.
• Hold up your upper body slightly, supporting yourself with your arms so that your forearms lie on the bed.
• This way, your weight rests on your forearms, pelvis and lower legs.
• Now do the pelvic swing movement. When you exhale, make a slight cat's hump - as if the middle of your back is pulled to the ceiling by a thread. And when you breathe in, arch your back - as if your stomach is pulled to the floor with a thread.
• Imagine you're using your penis to penetrate: Imagine you move your penis forward in a loose manner when you do the cat's hump, and back again with your back arched.

Moving the pelvis during masturbation

Suppose your preferred method of masturbation is using your hand. Maybe your hand does the work, while your body is rather still. When you do the pelvic swing for masturbation, quite the opposite happens: your hand is still, and you move the penis into the hand and out of the hand through the movement of your pelvis. You can try that in any position. We advise you to lubricate well so your penis can slide in well.

What if I lose my erection?

You may lose your erection – i.e. your penis becomes flaccid – if you start moving like this. That's normal. It's because this way of arousing yourself is just completely foreign to your penis. In case you lose your erection, go ahead and arouse yourself in the usual way to get back your erection. If you practice regularly, you will be able to maintain your erection better. We recommend that you practice at least three times a week for 20 minutes, or five minutes a day – for example in the shower.

How do I loosen my upper body?

Quite often, movement in the pelvis works fine, but the upper body stays still or even stiff. Your neck might be tense, your jaws clenched. This might lead to a less pleasurable, more stressful sexual experience. We recommend that you follow these tips for more movement in the upper body. We also recommend our breathing tips for less stressful sex.