Hello,
Sexual abuse during childhood prevented me from dating and relationships. Though I am not a virgin, my sexual experience is very limited.
Now finally at 30, after 6 years of therapy, I have decided to explore what is my "type", what I like, and what I don't like sexually.
I am not ready for a serious relationship, and I'd like to have casual sex.
I tried apps and it haven't worked out, and hiring a sex worker is illegal where I live(France).
Are there any places where I can go to have sex?
Unsere Antwort
We can't recommend any places for you, because we don't know where you live and we don't know the situation in France well.
Regardless of this, we would recommend online dating to you – no matter where you lived. I'd be curious to know what exactly you mean when you write that the apps "haven't worked out". What have you tried? And how has it not worked? Maybe you could write to us again and tell us more about this.
Online dating has a lot of advantages: You can get to know people casually and eventually meet them in person, setting the boundaries of getting to know each other "live". For instance, you might start by going for a walk with a person in bright daylight to get a better feel for them and for yourself.
Going to a club or sexparty (if these ara available where you live) is much more risky than online dating. Apart from not knowing anything about the people there, the atmosphere might make it hard for you to set boundaries – or to even really perceive what you want. Given your history and lack of experience, I'd be especially careful about this.
In Switzerland, we have sexual surrogates/surrogate partners and sexual bodyworkers who support people exploring their sexuality in a safe environment. Again, I don't know about the situation in France. I'm pretty sure, though, that you have sexual health organisations that offer information and counseling. Maybe you could get in touch with one in your area and ask them for addresses and further tips.
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