Hello,
I'm a 33 year old man, married for 2.5years to my 26year old wife. We've been having a lot of trouble in our marriage. Many fights, disagreement etc. I work a full-time job and at work there are many coworkers who flirt with me. At first it didn't bother me, but since the fighting with my wife has increased I find that I'm getting more and more confused. I feel like I'm questioning the whole relationship because of how much I enjoy the flirting. But I don't want to cheat.
I feel very confused and I'm looking for advice. Is it normal to feel confused or is it a sign of deep trouble in our marriage. Thanks in advance for any help.
Unsere Antwort
It's normal to enjoy flirting. In and of itself that isn't a sign of trouble. It's also normal that feeling less happy in your relationship makes you more interested in the flirting. Think about it: You are probably not having many pleasant interactions with your wife right now. Both of you are probably not receiving much love, affection and attention from each other. So, getting that attention from someone else through flirting feels particularly nice right now because it's fulfilling a need that isn't being met in your relationship.
In the long term, however, this won't be enough to compensate for the issues you're having in your marriage. I'd recommend that you seek professional support for your marriage problems and find a couples therapist. You could also start by reading one of the scientifically based self-help books by John and Julie Gottman.
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