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Frage Nr. 36787 von 24.04.2023

When shroud you start teaching your children about sex? I feel like my upbringing was fairly normal (and badly lacking) on this subject. We had sex Ed at school and a clumsy birds and the bees talk at home.

So much on this website I am only learning now (as a parent.) I feel like most people do not know a lot of things on this website.

When should you start? And when should you teach what?

Are there books that cover this?

Unsere Antwort

Yes, I agree that many people don't know enough about sexuality, and that it's important to spread accurate knowledge.

There are international guidelines on sexuality education. Experts in different domains such as health care and child development defined what kids should learn when. Please have a look at this document by BZgA if you want to know more about it. On pages 37-50, you'll find a matrix about what content is important for which age group. The FAQs are interesting to read as well if you want a quick insight into why it is important to start sexuality education early on. I will copy and paste some paragraphs here, since we couldn't say it any better:

What does it mean when you say that sexuality education should be started “from birth”?
In the development of the Standards, it was deliberately decided to call for an approach in which sexuality education starts from birth. It is crucial to emphasize in this context that sexuality comprises far more than the sexual act, and that the sexuality of a child is not to be confused with the sexuality of an adult. The Standards are based on a broad understanding of the term “sexuality”, which acknowledges that topics like emotions, building relationships, protecting privacy, respecting boundaries, expressing wishes, experiencing closeness, etc. are an integral part of sexuality. These dimensions of sexuality become relevant long before a child matures into adulthood. From birth, babies learn the value and pleasure of bodily contact, warmth and intimacy. Later, they learn the difference between male and female, and between intimates and strangers. From birth, parents in particular send messages to their children that relate to the human body and intimacy. In other words, they are engaging in sexuality education. Particularly in these early years, sexuality education is thus naturally provided in close cooperation with parents and focuses
on emotions, feelings and senses, on learning about them and understanding related expressions, and on developing an ability to talk about them.

Why start sexuality education at an early age?
Sexuality education is a lifelong process, but it is most essential during childhood and adolescence. If sexuality education begins at a young age, it can be proactive and help to guard against future misinformation. It gradually equips and empowers children and young people with information, skills and positive values so that they can understand and enjoy their sexuality, have safe and fulfilling relationships when they are ready and take responsibility for their own and other people’s sexual health and well-being.

As mentioned above, a child’s sexuality differs from an adult’s in many ways: in its expression, its content and its objective. Specific questions and ways of behaviour occur in each age group and at each developmental stage. The Standards are based on scientifically accurate information regarding the different phases of development in children, and attach great importance to developmentally appropriate methods of sexuality education.
For instance, when a 3-year-old asks “where babies come from”, he/she needs different information from a child at a later stage of development. In the age group 0-4, the pedagogical aim that children should acquire an attitude of “respect for gender equality” means that they should learn that boys and girls are equal in terms of their rights as human beings. In practice, this means that the basics of a certain topic are introduced at an early stage, although the topics reoccur and will be consolidated at later developmental stages.

Could you be more specific about what kind of books you are looking for? Books for a specific age group?

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