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Frage Nr. 38712 von 01.09.2024

Me again from 38611, Thanks for your answer.

Everything's going great between us, and she, by herself, opened up to me about her disability.
While doing so, she said that she never wants to have kids coz she's worried about the impact of all the medication that she has to take, on the baby and also she didn't feel like being a mother was something that she'd be into.
I told her that I cannot imagine my life without fatherhood. For which she responded to me in silence, and we didn't discuss any further about this topic.

We have gotten much closer, and this is evolving into a serious relationship.

Is it too early to talk about this or do I wait till we put a label on our relationship?

Unsere Antwort

I am happy to hear, that you could talk openly.

It's common to have different opinions in a relationship about whether to become parents or not. What's important here is how you deal with it. It sounds like you both have very clear opinions. And you are being honest with each other. And that you can't have both. That's as much as you know for now.

So far you have talked about it on the surface level. It might still be valuable to be curious about the depth of this topic. There are so many interesting questions to explore around what it means for you two to be a mother or a father. What is it that you are interested in, when you think of yourself as a father?

I don't know any of you, but there might be more options available for you than being biological parents. If you discover what having a child would fulfill in your life, there might be more options available.

It is an important decision to make, whether you want to continue a relationship with someone who doesn't share the same life goals concerning having a family. I understand that you might feel unsure or anxious about that. Remember that you have a choice at any moment. You don't need to get it all right on the first try. You might say yes to the relationship now and discover later that some things are too incompatible, and you then choose not to continue the relationship. You can make these choices at any point along the road.

What do you think it needs for a good conversation with her about this? And what else could help you feel more calm and safe?

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