Sexuality: facts and tips / What is an orgasm - and how do I get there?:

This is a very fast method of sexual arousal. Maybe you tense your legs tightly or press them together. Or you press your hand or objects against your lower abdomen or your genitals. The high muscle tension during sexual arousal affects your experience at that moment.

How does sexual arousal with pressure and muscle tension work?

With this arousal technique, you increase arousal through pressure and high muscle tension. You might tense your legs tightly, press them together or cross them. Or you press your hand or objects against your lower abdomen or your genitals. You might press a pillow between your thighs. Or maybe you press your vulva or penis onto a surface or an edge. Maybe you insert something into your vagina or anus and activate your pelvic floor muscles. You probably breathe mostly from the top of your chest. You might also hold your breath for a moment. You may move against something jerkily, or you may barely move at all.

What are the advantages of this technique?

Muscle tension is very arousing. You may be able to increase your arousal very quickly until you reach a climax. Some people are even able to do this in 10 seconds. It's uncomplicated, you don't have to take your clothes off and you can do it anywhere. Muscle tension is probably also the reason why some people orgasm from fantasies alone. If this is the case for you: pay attention to what your muscles are doing. Muscle tension and pressure stimulate nerve endings in the muscles of the pelvic floor area. The more often they are stimulated, the more your brain learns to experience it as arousing. You are therefore training the sexual arousability of the nerve endings in the muscles.

What are the limits and potential problems?

You may find the arousal leading up to orgasm exhausting because of the muscle work. Maybe that's why you enjoy the relaxation afterwards more than anything else. It's possible that the muscle tension is so high that you don't feel the orgasm as well because your perception is reduced in high tension. You may also have disturbing thoughts about sex. It's possible that you have hard and violent fantasies and are into more "rough" sex. You may also be into bondage, dominance, and submission, and everything else doesn't work. It may be that vaginal intercourse with someone else is difficult anyway because you are practicing something that feels completely different when you masturbate. For example, let's say you have a penis, and during solo sex you lie on your stomach and press on your penis. During intercourse, you should be penetrating somewhere with your penis. You don't find this arousing because you haven't practiced. Or you are a woman and you cross your legs while masturbating. But you should spread them during intercourse. You might get turned off by doing that. That's because you've learned something else.

How can I expand my technique?

The more different things you do with your body during masturbation, the more you will learn to arouse yourself in different ways. This way you won't become dependent on a specific pattern. If you want to expand your technique, it's best to take it one step at a time. You do what you're used to doing, and you introduce new things as you go: For example, change the angle of your legs. Or move your pelvis in between. Or apply a little less pressure in between. The more often you "disrupt" your technique with new inputs, the more your brain will associate the new things with sexual arousal. If you are female, we recommend our tips on masturbation. If you also want to practice intercourse while masturbating, you can find tips on how to learn to perceive more in your vagina in this text. If you find that you tend to be too tense during sexual arousal, you can learn how to get more in motion in this text. If you have a penis, read these tips on masturbation, these tips about practicing for intercourse.

Why should I know about sexual arousal?

This may be the first time you have read about the benefits and limitations of pressure and muscle tension as a method of sexual arousal and that you can expand your technique. Lack of knowledge can cause problems. For example, some people think that what arouses them sexually is unchangeable. It is important that you know: You have a right to accurate, up-to-date information about sexuality.