I have used porn pretty much every single day for the last 15 years. Over the period of time, I reached a point where I needed to watch more and more extreme sex acts(which I personally would never try in real life), to get aroused.
At this point, it has become impossible for me to achieve an orgasm with a real life partner.
When I stop watching porn, after 3-4 days, all my thoughts are fully consumed by pornographic visuals and I am unable to focus on my work. Additionally, I become very irritated and short-tempered as well. By the 5th or 6th day, I start having dreams where I am watching porn again.
Eventually, the urge to watch porn becomes unbearable, and I give in and go back to watching porn again.
How do I stop watching porn?
Unsere Antwort
You are describing a very entrenched habit. 15 years is a long time, so I'm not surprised at all that you can stop watching porn all at once.
Porn is a very efficient way of getting away from uncomfortable feelings. It distracts you and gives you an emotional and physical release. Unfortunately, that release is short-lived and the uncomfortable feelings will come back quite quickly. In fact, you probably end up feeling worse than you did before watching porn because you feel bad about doing it. Maybe you now feel guilty or ashamed. And then your brain remembers: "Hey, I know something that can make me feel better for a moment!" Sex. Masturbation. Porn. So, it makes sense that the urge to do it again pops up really quickly. It's a bit like trying to drench thirst with saltwater.
You're obviously unhappy with the situation because you've realized that it's harmful to you and your sex life. Your strategy thus far has been trying to suppress your desire. This does not work for most people. Suppressing a need takes effort and a lot of self-control. This self-control is usually accompanied by tension. The more you try to control yourself, the more tension and stress you feel. Your body and mind are longing for a release. And again, your brain will remember: sex is a way to release tension. So, of course, as the tensions mounts, your urge to get sexually aroused keeps increasing until it becomes unbearable.
Hopefully, this explanation helps you understand the vicious cycle that you have been caught up in over the past years. To break this cycle, you have to give your body and brain the chance to learn new arousal techniques before taking away the old ones. Repetition creates sexual preferences. So by repeatedly watching porn for 15 years, you have taught your brain that porn is what it needs to be aroused. The good news: you can unlearn and learn at any stage of life. We don't think it's a good idea to just stop doing what you've learned sexually so far. If you just stop, there will be a void. Anything you try to replace porn with will be less efficient and work less well. Thus, it's better to mix the old and the new gradually.
Focusing on how your body feels is the key to sexual learning, and porn images distract you from that. To gradually decrease your reliance on porn, we suggest you close your eyes, put away your smartphone or close the website for a few minutes, and focus on your sensations instead. Then continue watching and repeat the process. Try to make the times between watching increasingly longer. It's okay to watch more when your sexual arousal subsides or when you want to come. The most important thing is that your brain and body gradually get used to new sexual stimuli and porn becomes less and less important. I really recommend you read our texts on practicing for sex and on sexual learning for more details.
Finally, if you notice that you would like more support on this journey, you could start seeing a sex therapist.
Schau dir mehr Antworten und Infotexte an zum Thema