Hello lilli,
I first want to start of with a big thankyou to your website. This website literally saved my anxiety. I am a 21 year old man that has suffered sexual oriented ocd for 2 years. After having several panic attacks I developed ocd. I went to a psychiatrist and have had cognitive therapy and exposure therapy. Those 2 therapies helped a bit but my ocd was still there.
1 month ago I found this website by accident, and you literally cured my sexual oriented ocd. I found out that the reason I got anxious by sexual triggers, was because of the way I used to mastrubate, namely with a lot of muscular tension. I practiced the masturbation method explained on your website and during previous month I managed to get aroused without using too much tension. As a result I mentioned that my ocd symptoms decreased a lot and almost vanished. I think there is more potential and I can get even better in practicing mastrubation, because although I managed to make progress in mastrubating my anxious tensioned mastrubation mathod not completely disappeared.
My question is thus, how long practicing does it take to completely transform you way of arousal from high musclular tension to normal arousal? I hope to get answer to this question, and once again big thankyou to your team, this site really improved my quality of life.
Unsere Antwort
I'm really happy that our site helped you so much! 
But really: We just offered you some tools, and the rest is your own doing. Your motivation to practice is what got you where you are now. So, congratulations!
Please note that there is no "normal arousal". Anything goes that gets your arousal up. Every technique has advantages and disadvantages. You're describing a possible problem that can – but doesn't have to – arise when arousing yourself with high muscular tension. Keep in mind that muscular tension is arousing, and you can't reach climax in a totally relaxed state. You need to build up intensity. There are two ways to do this: high muscular tension, or intensive movement. Intensive movement also asks for muscular tension, but the key is that it alternates with relaxation.
Learning how to arouse yourself to orgasm with movements takes practice, just as learning a new dance or language. The more you practice, the less time it takes to reach a point where it becomes "normal" and "fun". So the time it takes to learn is entirely individual.
Note, please, that this doesn't mean that you un-learn your old technique. You'll always be able to draw on the old technique if you want to. Maybe this will take some practice again, but you don't lose it. Consider this: This is not about giving up or overcoming something bad, this is about learning something new which will make the old less interesting.
Avoiding and running away from something makes you tense up. And this is exactly what you don't want to do. So I suggest you don't talk about "my OCD symptoms" – don't pathologize. Rather, show interest in what this state feels like, what emotions and thoughts you have. If I were to work with you in therapy, I'd let you experience different degrees of muscular tension and observe how these reflect in your emotions. And then I'd let you explore with body movement, and see how this reflects in your emotions. You'd likely experience and describe something many people would experience and describe. So, what you're experiencing is normal. You're normal.
That said, we just wrote a new text with tips on upper body movement during sex. These will be particularly helpful for you, since emotional regulation is so key in your case.
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